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I have been close companions with a woman, a person who's faced and conquered many hardships, and I respect her for that. Yet, she has been repeatedly blindsided by people. Her husband ended their marriage, which came as a massive blow. A lot of close acquaintances disappeared then, because they seemed focused solely on her husband. It shocked her deeply. She made more effort in our friendship, probably grasped more acutely the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, many close to her have disappeared without her being certain of the reason. The company she worked for became hostile, despite the fact that she had been highly competent, she departed without knowing why things shifted.

How Things Stand Now

Lately, both of us stepped back from work and are seeing frequent meetups, however, I feel the part I play between us is to listen. I open topics of conversation and she changes the talk toward her own topics. In terms of politics, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to recommend double-checking information and alternate views.

She has been planning a vacation to a country I've visited on several occasions even called home for a while. My intention was to offer insights, but this was met with resistance. She purely solely sought my agreement with her plans. I've just returned from a month in that place she is eager to meet, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling to be a friend who abandons suddenly without a word, but I don't think she will ever grasp the impact of her actions on my self-esteem. At this point, I am in pulling back. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

You could cut and run, yet this is seldom the peaceful resolution we imagine. However, addressing it with the goal of a solution demands strength and readiness from both people.

Professional advice indicates trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step requires explaining the usual pattern during your discussions. It should be based on facts and basically what a recording device would replay. The second is to express how this affects you emotionally. There should be no dispute on this point. What you feel belong to you, of course. Finally is to question how you are both going to change the interaction between you."

Consider that she also has her own side, meaning you must to remain ready to listen to her. One effective method is telling to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to remain silent for a set time."

It's remarkably successful to encourage mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

This person could ignore all you say, for those who have a self-protecting mindset: they maintain a version about themselves they won't release because their very survival is tied to it and it's all familiar to them. It's tough when there seems no thoroughfare here, just dead ends. However, she might start out defensively then consider about what you've said. And should you don't achieve a resolution, it will give you closure knowing you were truthful.